It's almost time
Well, there is less then 24 hours before the Winter Showcase. I have been working on this project for 86 days, and it all comes down to the next two. The past seven have been spent working on the trailer for our game, a project that took me an incredibly long time. All of this time and all of this passion will essentially be out of my hands for the next two days. I can practice and bug test as much as I want, but it will be out of my hands come decision time.
The past week, I have spent all of my time making the trailer for our game. Before this week, I had never touched Adobe Premiere Pro, and now I feel rather comfortable with it. It's difficult to pickup a program in a week and do well with it, but I think given the circumstances, I did as best as I can hope. My friends, family, and teammates have enjoyed it and praised it, so I can only hope the professors agree. Over the next 23 hours, I hope to put the finishing touches on the presentation, meet with one of the professors about my presentation and my last second nerves, and to practice, practice, practice. It's a little maddening, but I can't do anything else right now to help myself or my team. We all just have to try and relax and be confident that everything will solve itself.
As far as confidence goes, I'm middling. We have been very lucky to receive assurances from our professors, with one going as far as to near guarantee it, but I still have my doubts. It's been a similar story with some of my classmates calling us one of the obvious ones. And while it does feel good to me to hear them say that, this feedback does two things for me: 1) makes me second guess myself; 2) puts pressure on me to perform even better. While I would never reject positive feedback, part of me wishes that things weren't so clear. It's, in my mind, easier to just do stuff and see what happens as opposed to being considered to be on the top. And, in some regard, I have come to terms that what will happen will happen and to just let things happen. However, this hasn't helped my anxiety about the process of everything happening. I'm sure others share my same feelings, but knowing that has never made it easier for me for some reason. Jeez, this is starting to ramble a bit. But, I guess it shows that I care about the project and my team if I am this nervous about everything.
I would guess part of my nerves about this has to do with my previous problems with stage fright. For whatever reason, being on a stage is much more terrifying to me then giving a presentation to a class room. I can present to pretty much anyone in a class room and be relatively fine, but a stage seems to pressure me more. I was starting to overcome it the last time I was on, so hopefully that will continue. Best way to help is just to be as comfortable as possible right now.
Well, that's enough for me to say right now. Just gotta wait and see.